George, a young man in his thirties, had just married and had a baby. He had not seen his mother Mrs. Garry for some time, as he was busy with his new family. Mrs Garry, an 80-year old lady was admitted into hospital because of terminal illness but she did not inform George that she had a terminal illness, bowel cancer, as she did not want to upset him.
George knew that his mother was seriously ill, but having a young family of his own and living a considerable distance away meant that time simply passed him by rather quickly. Before long, he realized that he had not seen his mother for six nearly months and when he found out that she was in the hospital, he felt extremely guilty and blamed himself.
When George got a phone call that his mother was in hospital, he took leave from his job to be with his ill mother. When the doctor told George that she had only a short time to live, George spent almost every minute he could with her, trying to make up for lost time, and proving to her that he loved her especially as he was her only child.
The days preceding Mrs. Garry’s death was really stressful and challenging for George because he had no experience in supporting a dying individual and he did not know how to balance this with his young family. He was frightened that he would lose his mother, he was concerned that he could not be there for his family and he was becoming agitated of what happens ‘afterwards.’ Unfortunately, the hospital staff were too busy to take notice of his situation so, no support was provided for him. He soon joined a support group of families who were in a similar situation, at the hospital.
As Mrs. Garry came close to the end of her life, she lost interest in eating and drinking. Her son sat by her bedside deeply distressed as his mother’s breathing became more laboured. He quickly called the nurse who came in and said to him “I am afraid this is normal and I don’t think she will pull through” She then left the room before Mrs. Garry breathed her last.
When Mrs. Garry died, her son had gained a little experience from the support group. He sought the help of a palliative care team to visit the school where his mother had been a teacher in order to fulfil his mother’s dying wishes. The group supported George to speak to the pupils about Mrs. Garry’s condition and the type of treatment she received. The pupils, parents and school staff were enlightened by George’s account of Mrs. Garry’s passing away. They were therefore not distressed; rather, they asked reasonable and intelligent questions about Mrs. Garry’s illness and subsequent death.
Mrs Garry’s pupils raised over £300 for her requested charity and George ensured that all his mother’s wishes were respected.
